This past Saturday, the family spent some time visiting car dealerships shopping for a new minivan, but came up short. However, we all left the house early this afternoon in a 1995 Plymouth Grand Voyager with 120,000 miles and returned home in a 2003 Chevy Venture with 12,800!

Our new minivan has some amazing features:

• When you turn the key, the engine starts.
• When you press on the gas pedal, the van goes forward.
• When you press on the brake pedal, the van stops.

These are critical features for me, and I'm happy to report that the new van performs them admirably.

But wait, there's more! Our new van has a number of additional incredible features. For example:

• When you apply the brakes to a complete stop, the new van doesn't shudder and slide.
• When you accelerate from a slow speed, the new van doesn't lurch when switching gears.
• When you make a sharp turn at slow speeds, the new van doesn't make horrible metalic noises.
• When you attempt to use the cruise control, it actually works.
• The new van doesn't have a slow but annoying transmission fluid leak.
• The new van doesn't have a loose hood ornament; in fact, it doesn't have one at all.

Needless to say, we're quite happy with our new van. It also has a few less interesting features:

• Dual sliding doors, one of which is a magic power sliding door.
• Power windows and power door locks.
• Remote keyless entry, including a button for opening the magic door.
• Eight-passenger seating; any or all of the three middle seats can be folded, reclined, or removed.
• Driver-side power seat control.
• Magic doors that lock when you start driving.
• Magic headlights that turn on when it gets dark and turn off when you get out.
• V6 engine, ABS brakes.
• CD player.
• Rear defrost, rear wipers, rear washer fluid.
• Rear climate control.
• Lots of storage space in the back, including cute little compartments under the floor.
• Roof rack.
• A couple years of bumper-to-bumper warranty.

Watch for our new van tooling around Mount Vernon, or cruising down I-5 somewhere between Western Washington and Southern California in the early spring...